Mary Sue Hilvers-Noble

Mary Sue Hilvers-Noble

Behind her lovely face, her warm smile and brilliant blue eyes, Mary Sue Hilvers-Noble was a fighter. And a jokester.

“KICK ASS,” she would tell our daughter Jennifer before an Opening Night performance, or before playing the leading role.

“I’LL HAUNT YOU,” she told us repeatedly in her final days, if we didn’t get what she wanted when she wanted it, or if we hurt her trying to move her frail body to a more comfortable position in the hospital bed we rented for our home, where she chose to be with family and friends at the end.

Mary Sue, my dear wife and best friend, brought love and joy to family, friends, co-workers and acquaintances in ways too numerous to mention. She had a caring heart with room for everyone – except haters and dividers. She was strong-minded and independent. She was dedicated to helping people overlooked by society during her 42-year career in the justice system and to making the system work better for them.

Mary Sue had a stubborn perseverance that seemed to come from her mom Kitty and dad Earl, a 1970s determination to break tradition and set her own course in life outside the family catering business, and a commitment that – if she couldn’t change the world – she would do what she could to make it a better place.

If you knew Mary Sue, you knew what she loved and what she hated. And if you didn’t know her, let me tell you:

What She Loved:

Watching her children, Jennifer and Zach, perform on stage. Her eyes and face glowed with pride every time, whether it was a kids dance recital, high school musical, national tour or Broadway.

Watching Disney movies with them when they were kids, and taking them to Disney World into their teens. Not enough Disney? There was shopping at the Disney Store in whatever city she happened to be. Two years ago, she bought matching Disney pajamas for our family Christmas in New York at Jennifer and David’s apartment.

Peanuts characters. Snoopy, Charlie Brown, Lucy, et al.

Old movies - “Casablanca” was her favorite – a carryover from the many hours she shared watching the classics and Westerns with her mom.

The Irish spirit she inherited from her mom.

Her love of the arts – another gift from her mom. When I was raising Jennifer to be a jock and coaching her softball team (when she wasn’t playing soccer, volleyball and basketball), Mary Sue, a grade-school dancer herself, was signing her up for Kecia Bruno’s dance class in fourth grade. The rest is history.

Streisand and Sinatra and, in her teen years, Carole King and James Taylor. She wore out their 8-track tapes in her green 1970 Chevy Nova.

Showtunes from every era. In her newest car, the Sirius Broadway channel was usually on, unless she was listening to politics on MSNBC.

Democratic ideals.

She embraced all people, especially Jennifer’s theatre and dance friends – a worldly mix of colors, cultures and persuasions.

Pepsi over Coke. Gold Star over Skyline (though Skyline was a close second).

Strawberry daiquiris. The doll collection she started as a child.

What She Hated:

Presidents who divide the county rather than unite it, majority leaders who block legislation out of spite, and party members not strong enough to stand up to them. She was constantly calling the offices of Portman and Chabot to complain.

All forms of racism, sexism and prejudice.

The breakdowns in her body: Scoliosis necessitated surgery to place a rod in her spine in her early 20s and a second surgery to replace it in her 50s, and limited her walking and physical activity for much of the life. A detached retina stole most of her sight in one eye, and years later, glaucoma threatened the other eye. And that was before Pulmonary Arterial Hypertension. She complained some, but not nearly as much as I would have.

High school math.

Her Biggest Thrill:

Seeing Jennifer on Broadway and finally marrying her one-true-love David in a hurry-up wedding they quickly arranged six weeks before Mary Sue died. It was wonderful to see her smile and enjoy that special day. She told me it was the best day of her life.

Her Biggest Regret (Maybe, Just Speculation On My Part):

Not living to see a female president. In 2015, she put a small Hillary poster in the window and never took it down. Seriously, it’s still there.

Mary Sue was not in-your-face about her political leanings. She saw hypocrisy on both sides and didn’t just vote a party ticket. She wasn’t what you’d call an activist, but she was a believer that if people demand it, change is possible.

While Jennifer was walking in the 2017 Women’s March on D.C., Mary Sue was marching in Cincinnati despite aching knees, swollen ankles and feet and the rod in her spine. Before the 2012 election, she took Zach to an Obama rally at Ault Park, passed out from the heat and had to be taken to the medical tent to cool off. I took her to her first political rally – for Jerry Springer when he ran for Congress from Cincinnati in 1970. No kidding!

She never missed a chance to vote. She never gave up hope that people would make the right choices for the greater good, not just for themselves.

Her compassion and belief and her best friend Wendy led her into Pretrial Services after a short-lived start as a store detective at Sears Northgate. Before her first surgery, she once chased a shoplifter on foot clear across the mall parking lot.

She found her calling at Pretrial, though I desperately tried to talk her out of it after she started on third shift going cell to cell interviewing arrestees face to face in the basement of City Hall – what was then the lockup for The Workhouse. And she did it without a mask or any PPE.

In the years after Wendy became director and appointed Mary Sue assistant director, Mary Sue helped Wendy grow the agency, expanding services for a forsaken segment of the community and turning Pretrial into a national model. They made a great team, just as they were great friends.

Mary Sue had other lifelong friends – Sue Torbeck Mayer, Rose Burns Lambert, Chris Banzhaf Comstock and Marsha Brunst Nicholas – and cherished them as well. Marsha basically was a second mom to Jennifer and Zach growing up. We’d drop off the kids at Marsha’s before going to work and pick them up at the end of day. Or we took them to school and Marsha picked them up. We knew they were always in good, loving hands with Marsha, and they learned social skills from being in a house full of Marsha’s kids and her nephews and nieces.

If you knew Mary Sue, you knew she put family above all else. She loved being “Mom” to Jennifer and Zach and nurtured them to be good, caring, responsible citizens of the world. She spread her arms wide in a lifelong hug around her parents, sisters Pat and Carol, brothers Earl and Tom, and her many nieces and nephews, to whom she was a role model as well as loveable Aunt Mary Sue.

The youngest of her family, Mary Sue was inspired by her brother Earl’s courageous fight against childhood polio. Though he never walked freely again, he was an excellent student, married, raised five wonderful kids and ran the family business. She used to say, if Earl could do that, she wasn’t going to let scoliosis or a detached retina stop her. Only PAH could do that.

Jennifer and David left New York and moved in with us right after Mary Sue’s doctor gave her a fatal prognosis in April. They helped keep her spirits up and care for her in her final two months. I would have been lost without them.

In that regard, the big hero was Zach, who carefully mixed Mary Sue’s medication every day for the seven months she was on a heart pump. After her diagnosis in November, the doctor wouldn’t let Mary Sue leave the hospital until a nurse trained Zach and I to prepare her medicine. “I got this, Dad,” Zach said on training day. He had to follow a strict regimen in order to make sure everything was sterile and he never faltered. He so loved his mom, he made it his mission to keep her alive. Mary Sue was so grateful and proud.

As for getting a son-in-law, Mary Sue and I have loved David since he and Jennifer met in college and thought from the beginning that they were a perfect match. But their unpredictable actors’ lives and travel delayed their decision.

At least they had an excuse.

At their wedding, Jennifer and David unveiled a poster board on which they had written: “Finally! And Still No One Believes It.”

In 1982, our best man, Greg Hoard, created the original “FASNOBI” sign and taped it to the back of the car he drove Mary Sue and I from our wedding to the reception hall. From the time we met as a high school sophomore (me) and freshman (her), it took me 14 years to pop the question, even though I never met anyone who came close to sweeping me off my feet like she did.

I saw her for the first time on March 22, 1968. An opening-of-spring snowstorm dumped eight inches on the ground and closed school. Both of us lived near our church, and our friends just happened to congregate there and get into a snowball fight.

Those eyes. That smile. That face. I was smitten. But I didn’t talk to her. I was literally frozen in my tracks.

I remember asking who she was, but my friends didn’t know.

She asked one of her friends who I was, and he told her I was a jerk and she shouldn’t have anything to do with me. I’m happy to say she gave me a chance to prove I wasn’t as big a jerk as all that.

My teenage sweetheart became my wife for nearly 38 years and my best friend for 52 years. I hoped we would grow old together, and we did. Just not for as long as I wanted.

To mark our “50th year anniversary” on March 22, 2018, I bought a 12-pack of Hostess Snowballs and scattered them around the house. I hung some flat Styrofoam on the wall and used toothpicks to attach white Styrofoam balls in the shape of the number 50. She thought I was crazy. I was – crazy in love.

As Jennifer, David, Zach and I prepared for her services, we dug out all the old pictures – including the one of her holding a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other on her senior trip - and I fell in love with her over and over again.

Radel Funeral Home is handling arrangements. We regret that services will be private because of COVID-19. We wish that everyone who wanted could attend.

In lieu of flowers, please make donations to the social cause or charity of your choice in Mary Sue’s name. And kindly keep her and her family in your thoughts and prayers.

Tributes & Condolences

Posted by Tim Sullivan on July 19, 2020 (15:43)
Beautiful tribute, Greg. I didn't know you were such a romantic, but reading what you've written I can easily understood why you and Mary Sue were such a strong couple. May the road rise up to meet her and may your days be dominated by happy memories.

Posted by Anne Gatti on July 06, 2020 (13:54)
What a wonderful tribute to an amazing lady. I had the pleasure of knowing Mary Sue through our mutual careers in Pretrial Services. She was a tireless champion for justice for all. We served on the OAPSA board together and spent some happy times at NAPSA conferences. We always talked about work, but about home and family too. She loved her family and was devoted to them. My condolences to all.

Posted by Dan Peterca on July 06, 2020 (13:26)
Just hearing of Mary Sue's passing. So very sorry to hear. Got to know and love Mary Sue through our common work and passion with Pretrial Services and Community Corrections. We served together on the OAPSA Board for decades. What a hard working, intelligent , kind and wickedly funny lady. RIP dear friend.

Posted by Sean Donovan on July 03, 2020 (08:10)
Beatiful person always positive and helpful to all

Posted by Kathy Schwartz on July 02, 2020 (14:21)
What a loving tribute, Greg.

Posted by Margaret McGurk on July 02, 2020 (13:10)
Greg, I am so sad for you and the family. My heart goes out to you all.

Posted by Ashley Harriman on July 02, 2020 (11:43)
This is the most beautiful tribute I've ever read- what a life well loved. I am so sorry for your loss.

Posted by Lucy May on July 02, 2020 (10:07)
Oh Greg, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. Your tribute to Mary Sue is beautiful. Clearly you were a great team. I wish I had words to bring some comfort to you and your family. Sending lots of love your way.

Posted by Greg Gruenwald, Elder 1972 on July 02, 2020 (01:24)
(Chicago) - Greg, my heart breaks for you and your family. I met your wife once at her father's business in 1977. I can understand why you fell so in love. "Thank you, Lord, for the gift of Mary Sue Hilvers-Noble in our lives. Please be with her husband, Greg, and her family during these difficult days. And, when you see Mary Sue exploring heaven, please give her a big hug and assure her that we love her... And, we are on the way, soon. Amen."

Posted by Peggy Klopp on July 02, 2020 (01:02)
Greg, a true Love Story! Mary Sue will remain alive through all these beautiful, cherished memories! I laughed recently thinking about her obsession with Pepsi, could never be a Coke! Our thoughts and prayers continue for you, Jennifer, Zach, David, Carol and all the Hilvers and Noble families. Mary Sue left quite an impression on many people!

Posted by Suzanne Ellis Christian on July 01, 2020 (20:36)
Greg, What an amazing woman your beautiful wife was...Passionate, loyal, hard working, sweet...... but so tough. She was small but mighty and everyone at Bail Project/Pretrial knew it. I have many wonderful memories that I will forever keep close to my heart! She was a classy woman with a gentle spirit who definitely championed the underdog. She was and is one in a million. I will be praying for peace and comfort for you, Zach, Jennifer and David. GodBless, Suzanne

Posted by Richard Gargana on July 01, 2020 (18:56)
Greg, a more beautiful tribute I can't begin to imagine. Anyone who had the honor of knowing the Hilvers and Noble families as I was were truly blessed. Take care of you, your family. No words can explain my grief 💔 at our loss.

Posted by Mary Jane (Finke) Schroer on July 01, 2020 (17:05)
So sorry to the family of Mary Sue. I grew up with her on Lucenna Drive. I remember Mary Sue being just so nice and sweet. Needless to say, we moved ::( My thoughts and prayers.

Posted by Renardo E. Anderson "Reno" on July 01, 2020 (14:09)
I will truly miss you. You were one of the GREATEST people that have been in my life.

Posted by Pam on July 01, 2020 (13:58)
We will miss you tremendously Mary Sue... Your Pretrial family

	Leave a message
	Different word

Memory Wall – Mary Sue Hilvers-Noble

Share images honoring the memory of Mary Sue Hilvers-Noble.  Please keep all images respectful.

---

	Different word

---